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Mi Vida Loca: A Story of Love, Death, Gentrification and everything in between

FEBRUARY 5th- My dad's $1500 bike is stolen off the back of my car. FML.  I really cried for real. 

FEBRUARY 12th- My friend's husband (also my friend) dies of a peanut allergy. This is really the first death that I had to deal with that wasn't an elder family member.  DEATH #2

DEATH #3- Good BYE Grandpa

APRIL 21- When I return from my purple rain lunch, I find out that my grandfather has passed. away.  My BFF when I was just a little curly princess living in Washington Heights was gone.  No more mondongo, western movies, and jokes about who posted (he was a funny guy).

FEBRUARY 14th- ACCIDENT #2 I wouldn't be Valentine's Day without tragedy.  I am upset about once again not having anyone surprise me with roses-- not even my boo!  I drive to the beauty supply in tears to get ready for dinner.  With eyes full of tears and can't see the fact that my bike rack is going to back into a 2015 Honda Pilot. Good job, Elisa. P.S. He did make up for it by picking up this fancy Macbook Pro. 


July  2015- We lose the wonderful apartment with views overlooking the city.  Let's just say, GENTRIFICATION is REAL. Since I was in denial I waiting until the last minute and ended up moving a 2 bedroom HUGE apartment in 24 hours.  I'm homeless for a month and a half, until a get the keys to a cute new place.   

MOVE # 2 (in a 6 month period)

JANUARY 27- I finally find a place where I can park my car (with no tickets!), has a full SHOWER, and beautiful granite top kitchen. Just make sure you have $3K to move...  

APRIL 21- Prince dies.  I find out during a meeting  at work and gasp. Nooooooooooo, not PRINCE!!!!!

So What About CurlyQueen?

This entire time I am getting orders that I cannot process.  With all my cash strapped into moving TWICE, eating out because I was homeless, and just dealing with the madness in general it left CuryQueen to the side.  This does not include 2 hospitalizations for stress and the shenanigans that I deal with at work (my day gig). No Orders.  No Hair Shows.  No Networking.  Just surviving.

How am I Still ALIVE?

How have I not jumped off the 405 freeway butt naked in stilettos?? Well, I have put GOD FIRST.  I've been praying like a mad woman. Even though every day seems to be another chapter in a serious of unfortunate events, I still give God the glory he deserves, and thank him for every blessing he's already given me, and what is coming in the future.  

I thought you mentioned love?

Well, if you didn't notice there's a mention of a "boo." A particular gentleman has been in my life since July 2015 and has been supportive.  Even when I had an emotional breakdown and really boo-hoo'd with snot bubbles and everything, he told me everything would be ok.  He fed me when I was hungry, helped me move both times, both me this fancy computer. In fact, he even bought the last minute ticket to the Dominican Republic so that I could bury my grandfather.  

December 31, New Year's Eve-  THE FIRE

I'm curling my air for the first New Year's Eve with an actual DATE.  I hear my neighbors screaming, which is unusual because they just are the ghetto neighbors you hear about. This is weird.  Let me be nosy and look outside.  The daughter s in tears and someone is yelling "GET OUT!! GET OUT THE HOUSE IN ON FIRE!!!"  I look and see black smoke coming from the roof. The apartment on top of mine is on fire...Hmmm...

I look in my house and there is water dripping from the light fixture.  This is not a drill Elisa, shit just got real.  I grab all my important items (pictures, birth certificate, iPad, camera, etc.) and put them outside my apartment.  I see the firmen, but they haven't kicked me out yet.  Well, if I'm gonna be homeless at least let me enjoy New Year's Eve, right??? I grab my sequin dress, shoes, and throw my makeup in a bag.  The fire is put out, the red Cross arrives, I'm kind of just going through motions, but totally calm.  Hey, at least I got my dress.

Since NYE wasn't happening at my house, I needed a plan B.  Well, the man that we shall call "boo" invites his newly homeless friend (me) to spend the weekend at his mother's house since his parents are away.  I didn't care about anything else besides wearing my new dress and celebrating the new year with boo.  

Well, after we drive an hour and a half away into the dessert and pull into the driveway 20 minutes from midnight boo remembers he forgot the keys.  FML. I crack open the bottle of rum right then and there.  He pulls into a Mc Donald's so that I can get some coke as a chaser and the clock strikes midnight.  No dress, no make-up.  Strike two, NYE FAIL.

JANUARY 5th - My family friend (someone that was like an uncle to me) dies.  He's found slumped over in the bathroom at Home Depot. DEATH #1

JANUARY 6th- ACCIDENT #1? I put a question mark because my coworker alleged a backed into his car... but I have NO DAMAGE??? The estimate is $1300... I can't afford this shit.    Oh well, let's fix it with some brand new insurance  I work with this person so I can't have beef with someone in my office.  

JANUARY 9th- EL CHAPO RUINS MY BIRTHDAY - We had plans to go to Mexico for my birthday weekend. On the drive south, we find out something that changes everything. Since the Mexican drug lord known as El Chapo decided that it was a good day to get captured my trip to Mexico was null and void.  The block was too hot to cross the boarder, so I ended up staying in San Diego. I still do not know where I will live. 

JANUARY 22nd- VISIT FROM BIG BRO My brother that I hadn't seen in 13 years visits me.  Unfortunately we have to spend the night in my smokey half burnt formerly flooded apartment.  (No my landlord did NOT provide housing, or compensation for me).